A Week of Firsts

This is how our week went:

Monday - Felicity spends the day at Grandma's. Xander spends the day trying to blacken his other eye. David spends the day wondering why God "blessed" him with a crazy wife. Hannah spends the day getting ready to launch her oldest child into the scholastic world. Also spends the day trying not to scream into the heavens "MY BABY!!!" or burst into tears. Fails miserably.

Tuesday - Hannah wakes up at the crack of dawn and spends way too long blow-drying then straightening her four-year-old's hair. Kicks herself several times for not buying Felicity a new backpack, and stresses to David several times the importance of a First Day picture. First Day pictures have to feel somewhat forced with the child looking blankly into the camera. Mission accomplished. Felicity cries when David drops her off, which Hannah hears over and over again from every parent who comes into the clinic. Xander also cries when David drops Felicity off, which Hannah hears over and over again every time she calls home. The day ends with Hannah trying to squeeze Felicity for information about her new school only to realize that the only answer she's going to get is "I don't remember". Like this:

me - Felicity, how was your first day of school?

F - I don't remember

me - Did you cry? (simple question to which I already know the answer)

F - I don't remember. Oh, yeah, I did, but then I didn't.

me - Did you have fun?

F - *shrugs her shoulders* shrugs her shoulders?? Did I blink and she turned 13???

me - who's in your class? any new kids?

F - I don't remember

Do you get where I'm going with this? That was the entirety of our conversation. I fed her pasta and put her to bed.

The rest of the week pretty much went like that. Work was insanely busy, plus I had to go in early every day so David was acting chauffeur for the week. Felicity was tired and Xander kept peeing everywhere (seriously) but we were getting into a groove. Then FRIDAY happened.

Now, I wasn't there, but picture in your mind the most epic tantrum you have ever seen your child throw. Now imagine you're in front of an audience of parents and teachers, and when your younger child sees how much fun your oldest child is having, decides to join in on the tantruming. That was the start of David's day, and it wasn't even 9 o'clock. I honestly could not believe it, especially since Felicity is not our tantrum thrower. That would Xander's job, Tantrum Thrower Extraordinaire, or at least that's what it says on his resume.

Anyway, David had her apologize to her teacher when he picked her up from school. I know that sounds a bit extreme, but we both felt she needs to know that her actions affected the people around her. We then talked to her that night and told her it was okay to be sad, but screaming was absolutely not okay. She seemed to understand, so hopefully next week will go more smoothly. Then she went off to Grandma's to end the week the way she'd started it, and I took a nap. A long nap, with Lilo & Stitch playing in the background, so I dreamt of Hawaii and Elvis. Could have been worse.

Here's a few pictures.

Felicity's first day of kindergarten:

Xander's first black eye:

I think the most surprising part of this whole week was the fact that this wasn't just hard on me or the kids, but David was really affected by watching his little girl head off into the world. We realize that she's a few decades away from truly leaving the nest, but we both felt that in some ways we're going to have to start letting her go. I think the hardest moment for David was on Wednesday. He'd gotten to school a little early so her teacher told him she can just go to the playground, and they would call the kids in for school. So he walked her over, gave her a kiss and off she went, on her own, into the sea of children. There was a moment where he couldn't see her, so he walked to the end of the fence and there she was, playing all by herself on the jungle gym. She wasn't worried or looking for him or anyone else. She was completely content and she was FINE. Which tells us that so far, we're doing okay.

Sound Bites

So Xander has discovered "cuzzles", which loosely translates from Xander into English as puzzles. When we delve a little deeper we discover it is also defined as: I can ignore my mother because I'm doing something "brainy" instead of doing something "destroy-y".

Felicity starts Kindergarten on Tuesday. The entire summer has been building up to this moment. In fact, I feel now like that moment, over six years ago, when I decided to move to Chilliwack and fell in love with my husband and he went to Depot and we moved to Gibsons and now we live here? The circle will be complete on Tuesday when Felicity walks into that sacred classroom for the first time with her I-cheaped-out-so-she's-stuck-with-an-Ikea backpack and her $40 sneakers (I get the irony) and her recycled DuoTang and pencils in her Disney Princess pencil case (again, more irony) all held together with a sturdy box I brought home from work and then stamped - STAMPED! - and glittered and ribboned. Seriously. Kindergarten has brought out my crafty side. David kept feeling my forehead and checking my iPod for devil music that may be affecting my mental state. The dining room table was covered. It was a crafty, stampy, glittery, ribbony warzone, and for a moment I felt like those moms you read about who make their own bread and grow their own carrots and milk their own grain-fed goats so they can make goat cheese for the PTA meeting over which they will preside as President of the Mommy World. I even cleaned up after myself.

My first thought when I got home from camping was winter gear. My head was full of parkas and -40 rated boots and mittens and mitten liners and long underwear. And not just because it's freezing cold here, but because having spent one winter here I know that winter will soon be upon us. I have to admit that even though I'm not looking forward to the darkness, I'm really looking forward to the snow. It stays for a long time, and it's really cold, but it transforms this ugly little town into something beautiful, and for over half the year this is not a bad place to live.

The only thing I want more than to be able to quit my job now is to be able to get the job I want when we move. I've actually started my degree three times but apparently that doesn't count for three years of study. I've really only got about one year of music classes left, but in order to do that one year without driving my family crazy I need to do work-work and school-work all at the same time. I know see why, when my parents were both working, in school, and raising four kids, my mother said "don't EVER do this". Sorry, Mom.

I have camping pictures. I will post my favourites soon. Okay, soon-ish.

The Great (Freezing Cold) Outdoors

Here are a few pictures from our camping trip to Kinaskan Lake last weekend. I can honestly and without sarcasm say that it was the most fun I've ever had while freezing my tail off. I love when my kids don't watch TV or movies for three days straight and just play. Do I love it enough to not let them watch TV or movies ever? Be serious.

I came to realize that Kinaskan Lake is not unlike seeing a polar bear on the Discovery Channel. A beautiful testament to God's design? Check. Gets its water mostly from glacial runoff? Check. You could lose a limb if you accidently fell in? Check.

This was the view from the doorway of our impossibly large tent. Xander played at the beach non-stop. Just throwing rocks into the water, then finding more rocks and throwing them, then wading in just to make sure we truly meant no you may not go in the water.

During our "nature walk" we discussed what to do if confronted with a bear. Who takes the kids? Do we offer up the dog as bait? Who can share the scariest bear/cougar attack story from November 1988 Reader's Digest? Whose idea was it that the parameters were that the story had to include either a two- or four-year-old child who miraculously survived the attack?

Yes, this nap was as good as it looks. I followed it up with a s'more made out of a perfectly roasted marshmallow sandwiched between two chocolate chip cookies. Seriously.

The reason this picture was taken from the back is not just because David has an awesome bum, but also because I enjoy looking wider than the rest of my little family combined.

Only a four-year-old can live in the wild, go camping in the even wilder wild, and yet deem a tiara that says "Modern Princess" as appropriate headwear.

Home Alone

Except for a few days here or there, I have not been without child/children for the last four and a half years. Every day I have awoken to little voices, been greeted by little smiles, felt little arms around my neck. I am a mother. That is what my life consists of, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. So imagine my distress when I came home on Friday afternoon from work to discover the little voices, little smiles, little arms were gone. I knew they weren't going to be there; I packed their stuff, for heavens sake. So the distress wasn't so much over the fact that they weren't there. It was more because I didn't quite know what to do with myself. David was at work and I wasn't hungry yet so there was no point in making dinner. So I sat down and watched TLC. For three hours. Then my slightly confused husband called wondering when dinner was going to be; it was, after all, eight o'clock. Over dinner we discussed the kids - what were they doing, were they driving his parents nuts, why didn't you put them in their sweatshirts like I told you to. Important stuff. It was then that I realized that not only were my kids on vacation with their grandparents, we were on a vacation from them, which sounds awful and terribly un-motherly. But I know my love for my children, which is why I can say that they are wonderful but exhausting. If a few days apart means we come back to each other rested, more organized, and missing each other, then a few days are not only a good idea, they're necessary.

So Saturday morning, I woke up when I wanted to and looked at my To Do list I'd written almost a week before. Thankfully, "sleep in" was at the top of the list, so I crossed that off and went on to the next task. And for the first time in, well, forever, I got absolutely everything done on that list and I wasn't a sweaty, stressed-out mess by the end of the day.

On Sunday I went to church, then came home and relaxed. ALL DAY. WITHOUT GUILT. And I wasn't a sweaty, stressed-out mess by the end of that day either.

So today is Monday. On Thursday I leave for what promises to be an amazing vacation full of great laughs, great food and a million little voices and smiles and arms. I have an ocean of tasks to cross between here and there, and I can't wait to see my babies again knowing that I used the time without them to make life better for them in ways they'll never even see.

Big Girl

This Thursday was a Very Special Occasion, Felicity's Preschool graduation. The two responses I've gotten from people upon telling them of this Very Special Occasion, or VSO as it shall heretofore be referred, are a bit polarized. Either "OMG THAT'S FANTASTIC WHAT IS SHE GOING TO WEAR?!?" or "her what?". In the days leading up to her VSO whenever I would refer to The Event, she would either give me a blank stare or pointedly remind me that she was not in the mood for Kindergarten today. But I still wanted her to know it was coming so that if there were any histrionics, I would be able to nip it in the bud with a well-timed "I told you so". Because that's what mothers live for.

Felicity has led a bit of a charmed life. Not only does she have golden locks, sea-blue eyes, rose-bud lips, and a fantastic sense of humour, but she has unwittingly chanced upon some very amazing people to help her along the way. First, while she was refusing to exit the womb, was my OBGYN, who according to the nurses (they know everything) was THE BEST ONE. Since then we've had a string of amazing doctors and pastors and friends, and the latest in this parade of wonderful are Miss Kristi and Miss Hazel. This is Kristi:

She is wonderful. She is patient. She is creative. She is everything you wish for in a child's first teacher. And next year, to thank her for all of her amazingness, we are going to reward her with Xander. She can't wait.

This is Nia, Kristi's daughter and Felicity's favourite little buddy. If she could, she would fold Nia into an origami crane, put her in her pocket, and bring her home every day. Then they could bicker at school AND at home, and that is what we call heaven.

This is what Felicity looks like when people are saying wonderful things about her. Confused and wondering when the food's gonna come.

This is Felicity and Tahlea comparing diplomas and talking about their wicked summer plans.

A rare mother/daughter photo. See? She kind of looks like me...please, somebody say she looks like me.

My goodness, I had to threaten everybody with timeouts just so they would take a picture. And I'd like to say Felicity was the worse one, but I would just be covering for the ADULTS.

This is Hazel, Felicity's other amazing teacher. Hazel is calm, thoughtful, and has a fantastic laugh. She, like Kristi, loves these kids as if they were her own. What more could you ask for?

I hope that just because a teacher of Felicity's - who shall remain unnamed - spelled her name wrong doesn't make it official and for the rest of her life people ask her if she's part Japanese. Or we could just send her to Japan where she'd fit right in.

Where Do I Even Begin?

We've been back from our trip for over a week, and although we're just getting over the virus we brought back with us we are glad to be home and settling back into normal life. I've never had such a great time doing absoutely nothing with the people we love. I loved the shopping - of course I loved the shopping - but missing our friends and family has been the most painful part of living so far away. So now that we're back we feel refreshed and renewed in our purpose to put in our time here, knowing what's waiting for us when we finally come home.

Because what we filled our time with was mostly conversation I don't have any super-amazing stories. Also, the people who read this were the people we were visiting, so I decided to put up some pictures instead. You can tell right away that Xander especially had been missing the sun. As soon as we got to Paul and Em's house he played outside and we had to straightjacket him in order to get his scrawny pale bum back in the house. Paul and Em, we miss you guys and so enjoyed our time at your home. Hopefully we'll be able to return the favour someday.

This is the foot of one Lucas Johansson. He has the biggest brown eyes you'll ever see (two pictures down) and is all boy down to his little toe.

This is Tobias, Lucas' older brother. I always think that we could exchange him and Felicity because he looks so much like Xander and she looks more like Lucas. Plus, then Suzi would have a girl to play with and I would have a boy who would actually sit still and read a book with me for longer than 2.3 seconds.

See? Puppy-dog eyes. Don't say I didn't warn you.






This is Paul and Em's SAM! For some reason in my mind SAM!'s name can be spelled no other way than in all caps. With an exclamation mark on the end to go with those striking blue eyes.




Once we got back to Grammy and Grampy's house Xander spent most of his time as God intended for boys - naked and running.

I just loved this picture. This is the perfect depiction of the stage Felicity's in right now, and actually, stage is even the perfect word, since she is always putting on a show.

Another one of my favourite things about my visit is spending time with my girlfriends again. Growing up, I never had really close, best friends until I was in college. Now, I don't know what I'd do without them. Christina, Tamara, Angela, Suzi, and Em, thank you for listening to me whine and complain about how beautiful it is up here and how much money we're making and how much time I have on my hands with nothing to do except play with my kids, love my amazing husband, and clean my house. I just know you guys understand my pain.

Last but not least, we shopped. A lot. An embarrassing amount, actually, and it felt really really good to be that embarrassed. One of the treasures we picked up besides blackout curtains is this little green fairy dress for Felicity. It was the only one left in her size among a sea of XS and XL, as though it was calling out her name from the moment we entered the mall. I wish I had a better picture of it, but whenever she wears it you hardly see the dress for the big smile and the big blue eyes. Which may have had something to do with us buying the dress in the first place.

Some Things Never Change

This sort of reminds me of his baby hair, except that now he's got a whole lot more of it. However, when I look at this picture I think of all the things I should have been doing instead of using a $200 blowdryer on my two-year-old.