Home Alone

Except for a few days here or there, I have not been without child/children for the last four and a half years. Every day I have awoken to little voices, been greeted by little smiles, felt little arms around my neck. I am a mother. That is what my life consists of, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. So imagine my distress when I came home on Friday afternoon from work to discover the little voices, little smiles, little arms were gone. I knew they weren't going to be there; I packed their stuff, for heavens sake. So the distress wasn't so much over the fact that they weren't there. It was more because I didn't quite know what to do with myself. David was at work and I wasn't hungry yet so there was no point in making dinner. So I sat down and watched TLC. For three hours. Then my slightly confused husband called wondering when dinner was going to be; it was, after all, eight o'clock. Over dinner we discussed the kids - what were they doing, were they driving his parents nuts, why didn't you put them in their sweatshirts like I told you to. Important stuff. It was then that I realized that not only were my kids on vacation with their grandparents, we were on a vacation from them, which sounds awful and terribly un-motherly. But I know my love for my children, which is why I can say that they are wonderful but exhausting. If a few days apart means we come back to each other rested, more organized, and missing each other, then a few days are not only a good idea, they're necessary.

So Saturday morning, I woke up when I wanted to and looked at my To Do list I'd written almost a week before. Thankfully, "sleep in" was at the top of the list, so I crossed that off and went on to the next task. And for the first time in, well, forever, I got absolutely everything done on that list and I wasn't a sweaty, stressed-out mess by the end of the day.

On Sunday I went to church, then came home and relaxed. ALL DAY. WITHOUT GUILT. And I wasn't a sweaty, stressed-out mess by the end of that day either.

So today is Monday. On Thursday I leave for what promises to be an amazing vacation full of great laughs, great food and a million little voices and smiles and arms. I have an ocean of tasks to cross between here and there, and I can't wait to see my babies again knowing that I used the time without them to make life better for them in ways they'll never even see.